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Posted by G lib on 2005-06-08 17:50:07 +0000

Toilets

I have been to Germany before, but just for my sister's first out of two weddings. I had a few spare days left, so travis and I went to Oktoberfest. We didn't plan to go, but thought, we're young, it's happening, and we'll probably never WANT to go ever again, so why not now? Most of the wedding-type time I spent running around getting things organized, staying in people' houses, and not really noticing much. At Oktoberfest, Trav and spent most of the time ordering "ein masse, bitte," (a liter of beer, for those of you not in the know) so beer clouded our noticing capabilities. . Chippy and I's first night here in Berlin, I got off the plane, got a ride back to Schwanger's place, took a tour of Schwanger's apartment, and then needed to take a dump. I pulled down my pants, sat down, sighed, and laid a big juicy airplane pile onto the shelf on the back of the toilet. . WHAT??!?!?!?! There was a shelf on the back of the toilet! That shelf collected all of my poo and piled it all up for me to see before I flushed, like a gift. . And then when I flushed, it took two times for all of the poo to be pushed off the shelf, leaving a substantial amount of residue. . I called my sister in. "Schwanger, oh my god, what do I do about my poo!?!" . She assured me that this residue was normal, and most German toilets mostly come equipped with a shelf. (there is a deep hole in front of the shelf for you to pee in). All German shelf toilets also come equipped with a brush, just in case there was some left-overs. . Gross. . When Schwanger first arrived in Germany (she had been to visit a few times, but this move was semi-permanent), she took a class at the famous Goethe insitute to learn intensive German for a few months. Toward the end, each student did a presentation on the topic of their choice to the rest of the class. . She said that one of the members of her class was a Korean toilet salesperson. This person's presentation was on the history of toilets, their makes and models, why some were designed one way, and not the other. He said that there was absolutely no reason that he could come up with to have the shelf in the back of the toilet for your poo to land on. . But why is it still there? Why are all German toilets made with a poo display shelf? . Frankly, I don't want to speculate about this-- I haven't been to the beer garten yet tonight. However, after the initial shock, I've been taking the time to notice what each crunch (thanks, Frame!) looks like since. I wonder if I'll miss it when I go back to London tomorrow?

Posted by frame609 on 2005-06-08 17:53:20 +0000
Glad you could take a look at your crunch. Viva shelving! Pam, aren't the toilets built like that so you can look at your poo to see if you're healthy?

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-08 18:26:37 +0000
I'm glad you asked me that question, Mike. :) Yes, the German medical profession - I believe in the 1800's, possibly the 1700's - reckoned that poo was an excellent gauge of health. And in many Germanic countries (Holland included), shelf toilets are still the norm. Yes, my toilet has a shelf. And I like it. Think about it: Green poo = generally ill Liquid poo = tummy sick Hard poo = not enough fats in your diet Etc. Hang on, I'll find a link...

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-08 18:32:40 +0000
[url=http://www.poopreport.com/Intellectual/Content/Scheisse/scheisse.html]Aha![/url]

Posted by tgl on 2005-06-08 19:33:18 +0000
I've decided not to follow the above link.

Posted by dawnbixtler on 2005-06-08 20:19:50 +0000
"Your #1 source on #2"

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-08 20:46:14 +0000
It [i]is[/i] a rather scholarly text... honestly!

Posted by tgl on 2005-06-08 20:51:29 +0000
Attempting...

Posted by tgl on 2005-06-08 20:54:41 +0000
Wow, I'll be bookmarking this for "later" reading. HA! A laptop by the john! Home Improvement Job #1 has been identified! G: Take note, and drop a few sheets on the shelf.

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-08 20:56:22 +0000
That is the key to shelf happiness!!

Posted by tgl on 2005-06-08 20:57:47 +0000
*snicker* I tagged my link with "whitepaper". To digress: Anyone else notice the new del.icio.us posting page? It's suggestively hot.

Posted by frame609 on 2005-06-09 04:49:33 +0000
I have pooed on a shelf. It's great.

Posted by mr. mister on 2005-06-09 17:18:11 +0000
There is a similiar phenomenon in the US called "The Upper Deck" My friend once dared me to crunch by opening the top portion of the toilet and dumping in there. YEOW "The Upper Deck" Oktoberfest is fun. Brost!

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