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Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-16 11:44:00 +0000

I don't know the Blind Blind Date story... can I hear it? I've rarely gone on real dates. The only blind one I've been on was T O R T U R E. Oh my God, I thought I was going to have to push him in front of a train and make a run for it. Ugh.

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-16 13:41:01 +0000

It was all about JDate. I'd just been broken up with a week before from a 1 1/2 month long thing with another guy I'd met on JDate who had Tourrettes. No joke. Actually, that didn't bother me, his unhealthy attatchment to his mom did. Anyway, I made a date with this guy Adam shortly after. He suggested we go to Marche (an "upscale" cafeteria style restaurant in the Prudential Center). He called a couple of hours before our date to confirm, and I asked for directions to the restuarant. He said, "Funny, ask the blind guy for directions." I thought he just meant he had a lousy sense of direction. We decided to meet at the top of the escalator...I told him what I was wearing, and he said, "I'll be the tall guy in the black wool overcoat with the white cane." I said, "Oh, you weren't kidding about being blind." More later, I'm off to a meeting.

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-16 14:15:08 +0000

Wow, and I thought [i]I[/i] got burned on Internet dating. One guy described himself as a snowboarding Fugazi fan who loves Monty Python and drinks '77s. He seemed cool, funny, interesting... So I agreed to meet him for dinner. Big mistake. I grew up in a small university town. My friends and I all have a nickname for frat boys. They are "dirty white hats". This is because all frat boys at UNH wear dirty white baseball caps, and all idiots who failed to get into a frat but manage to be complete morons despite the lack of social reinforcement... also wear dirty white baseball caps. These are "dirty white hats". They are to be avoided. So anyway, he shows up wearing a dirty white hat. And a plaid shirt. And Dockers. Now, before you start telling me that maybe he was a very nice person and I didn't give him a chance - he had NOTHING to say for the whole date. The whoooooole date. He sat there, and occasionally said something about how I looked nice. I told him funny stories, which he laughed at, but he had NOTHING to say. I started drawing unflattering cartoons of him on my napkin toward the end. It was painful. And yet he still wanted to pay for dinner (I wouldn't let him) and even wanted us to go out again! What? Insanity. When you get back from your meeting I [i]totally[/i] want the scoop on this Marché adventure...

Posted by tgl on 2005-06-16 14:36:57 +0000

Awésomé

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-16 14:45:16 +0000

I tötàlly løvë üsing á €ürø këÿböärd... düdé!

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-16 15:33:25 +0000

Ouch. I would've let him pay, just for being so boring. :)

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-16 15:55:08 +0000

Okay, so he said, "Do you still want to go out?" What was I going to say? Of course I still went out with him, but I felt a little played. That feeling increased as the night went on. I was nervous about the date, so I got to the Pru early and did a lot of window shopping. As I realized time to meet was coming up, I started walking towards the escalator and saw a rather large man in a black overcoat walking in front of me. I kept my distance, and before he stopped, he picked a big ole wedgie out of his butt. At that point I thought. That guy is TOTALLY my date. I could leave now, and not have to go through the agony, or I could be me and go through with it. "Hi, I'm Miriam. You must be Adam." From there, we went to Marche. It's set up so that there are food stations where you order and carry it back to your table. Adam asked that I hold his hand and describe things to him. I was appalled. I'm no prude, as several of you know, but I'm not cool with holding a stranger's hand on a first date. When I'm drunk, no problem, but not sober on a first date. I did it, 'cause what could I say? "Sorry dude, use your cane?!" Not my style. I think I would've enjoyed the date more if he'd been a looker, but he was far from it. Bummer. We ate dinner, talked a while, and the whole time I was trying to figure out how to end it. Unfortunately, I'm a little too nice. He paid for dinner; I offered to help, but he said no. He then asked if I'd seen the view from the top of the Pru. "No. But isn't it closed since 9/11?" "Yes, but that's not where we're going." "Okay." We headed to the elevators, stepped in, along with another couple, and he inched pretty close to me as I tried to step away. Ugh. This was getting ridiculous. I'm all about guys being gentleman when it's appropriate, and he had crossed that line towards inappropriate several times already. The elevator climbed 50+ floors in a matter of seconds, and I was green by the time it got to Top of the Hub. Let the motion sickness begin. We were seated at a window near the piano. He ordered a sidecar. I ordered a cammomile tea. We shared some kind of chocolate dessert. Again, he paid and I offered but was told no. The elevator ride down was no better. I think I turned greener. He insisted that we share a cab back to Somerville, and also asked that I hold his hand crossing the street to the cab stand. Annoyed and wanting to vomit, I didn't have the energy to deny his request. In the cab he tried to get close to me, and I tried to give him reasons why I wasn't interested in dating him. Guess I wasn't convincing. Eventually, when he asked if I would come over to watch a movie with him, I think I even agreed. At that point I was about to vomit and just wanted to get away from him. As the cab came to a stop at the bottom of my hill, I patted his arm, said, "Thanks for a lovely time," and ran up to my place where I stripped off my shirt and laid down with cool towels draped over me in hopes that the nausea would subside. He left me a message the next day asking me out. I returned the call two days later and said I wasn't interested. He hung up on me. The day after that he wrote me a pretty appalling email. I can post that later. All in all, it was not a good experience.

Posted by lrf on 2005-06-17 01:31:24 +0000

dating is awesome

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-17 07:27:06 +0000

Creepy. Maybe all the other girls ran away when they saw his butt-pick move. Maybe that's why his heart got broken... "But she stayed! Even after I picked my butt, she stayed!" x

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-17 13:49:01 +0000

Ususally not for me.

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-17 13:49:57 +0000

If only I had known he was that desperate. I would've been out of there before he saw me.

Posted by G lib on 2005-06-17 14:01:52 +0000

"saw" you. ________________ The Boot Knife of Mild Reason

Posted by Frederick the Younger on 2005-06-17 14:04:10 +0000

Don't we all pick butt? Cast not the first stone... Miriam I admire your compassion (and passion). Should you ever be in Africa, I shall make you one of my brides.

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-17 14:08:42 +0000

FtY, you misinterpret me. "Creepy" refers to the overly forward behavior of the young man. The commentary about butt-picking referred to the oft-seen reaction in women on blind dates (as opposed to blind blind dates) making a run for it upon seeing said date pick his butt in public. We all butt-pick, FtY, but butt-picking whilst waiting for the arrival of a blind date is both careless and unrecommended. Selah.

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-17 14:10:39 +0000

Funny you should mention that. I went out with a Kenyan man I met on a plane once. He wanted me to paint his nude portrait in one of the rooms in the fancy downtown Boston hotel he ran, when he learned I'd studied painting. I politely declined that offer, but did go on a date with him. When he said, "We'll have two boys; the first will be named after my father, the second we'll name after yours." That made me wonder what kind of first date it was. When I said, "Actually, in my religion, we don't name children after living relatives." He started to tell me why my religion was backward. For several minutes. He was another winner. I think I broke his heart, too.

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-17 14:11:54 +0000

I'm with you, Pamsterdam. I'm a serious butt-picker, when necessary, but not in the vacinity of someone I'm hoping to impress.

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-17 14:13:04 +0000

Dude had 29 cornea transplants throughout his life. He had some sight in his left eye as of the date. His right eye, however, did this odd jumping twitch that was more than a little distracting.

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-17 14:18:49 +0000

OK, remember that guy who picked me up at a Malbert party, who I wound up dating? His "winner" moment was when I put on a little purple sundress for our excursion to the beach and he said, "Oh, you should change - that dress shows too much skin." I was like, "What?" And he's all, "Yeah... it's slutty." Best part about that? It was the dress I was wearing at that Malbert party when he first asked me out. I've never dated a Kenyan but I've kissed a Ghanaian. And the closest I've ever gotten to someone wanting me to paint them nude was my first college boyfriend, who wanted me to "spend some time with a hand mirror, getting to know my vagina". And we have another winner!

Posted by tendiamonds on 2005-06-17 14:25:12 +0000

I dunno, Mir, you give a sad guy a pity fuck (date) and you have to live with the guilt of breaking his heart. You should have walked sooner.

Posted by pamsterdam on 2005-06-17 14:29:12 +0000

Nah, I'm not big into the letting-men-pay thing. I don't let them buy me drinks and (unless I'm in a situation where I know they'll let me treat them next time) I don't let them buy me dinner. Of course, now that I'm married it's even easier to stick to those rules. ;) My Dad used to tell me not to let men pay for stuff because it "sets expectations, and you might not want to have to deal with what those expectations might be." I still think it's great advice, almost 20 years after I first heard it. Yes, my father was paranoid once puberty hit me.

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-17 14:55:58 +0000

How was I to know I was so fabulous?!

Posted by tendiamonds on 2005-06-17 14:59:57 +0000

You know now.

Posted by Miriam on 2005-06-17 15:03:09 +0000

Still not convinced, but I do think the blind blind date story is better. Not feeling guilty about it, honestly. More pity than anything else.

Posted by tendiamonds on 2005-06-17 15:12:28 +0000

I was talking about the blind blind date