WWW.RIDESIDE.NET

Posted by tendiamonds on 2006-12-18 11:35:22 +0000

More Plagarism: Knock Knock! Who's there? Woo. Woohoo!

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 11:52:32 +0000

Q: What do they award the Dentist of the Year? A: A little plaque.

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 12:10:01 +0000

Q: What's the difference between an elephant and an aspirin? A: One is large, grey and wrinkly; the other is small, white and smooth.

Posted by tommy on 2006-12-18 12:20:22 +0000

Two rabbis walk past a Baptist church and notice a sign that says "$100 for each new convert". Rabbi #1 says "is it possible that they're giving away money to convice people to be baptists?" So, rabbi #2 goes into the church to find out. When he comes back out rabbi #1 says "So, are they giving away cash or what?" and rabbi #2 says "Is that all you people think about is money?"

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 12:20:35 +0000

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now.

Posted by tommy on 2006-12-18 12:22:03 +0000

Q: How do you kill a circus? A: Go for the juggler Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell? A: Dung.

Posted by ConorClockwise on 2006-12-18 12:58:00 +0000

A couple go to a psychologist for marriage counselling. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the psychologist. The wife says, "Oh, so does my ass look fat?" The husband says, "My wife has big time ESP."

Posted by buzzorhowl on 2006-12-18 13:39:00 +0000

Q: What's green and flies over Germany? A: Snazis.

Posted by ConorClockwise on 2006-12-18 14:03:18 +0000

Potato juice

Posted by MF DU on 2006-12-18 14:07:30 +0000

Potato Juice = Post Of The Day

Posted by tommy on 2006-12-18 14:36:58 +0000

Q: According to Freud, what bridges the gap between fear and sex? A: Funf

Posted by bizquig3000 on 2006-12-18 15:08:50 +0000

Didja hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Posted by bizquig3000 on 2006-12-18 15:27:55 +0000

So tgl posts on RSN: I was thinking about Stricken for Catherine the other day, what was so amazing about these guys again? Rory_Stark responds: no. MF DU posts: They are screening this incredible documentary about jazz percussionist Babatunde Olatunji "Babatunde Olatunji Live at Starwood" at the Brattle March 19, 2007. Do not miss this show! "BABATUNDE OLATUNJI LIVE AT STARWOOD" As a special treat for our attendees, The Brattle presents the original uncut footage of Babatunde Olatunji & Drums of Passion’s 1997 appearance at the Starwood Festival. Babatunde Olatunji, the Master of Drums, has offered the primary introduction of African music to the West. His work with Mickey Hart of the Grateful Dead and his own Drums of Passion CDs has been the cornerstone of festival drumming in America. For over forty years, from movie soundtracks to classes to performances, his rhythms and spirit have brought the joy of authentic African drumming and dancing to all corners of the world. This incredible concert, featuring a guest appearance by 50-year friend and colleague Halim El-Dabh, is the basis for the CD (now available from ACE) and the upcoming DVD of the same name. All songs are performed on traditional instruments, from djembe to kora, and accompanied by dancers in African costume on the same stage we’ll be showing it."

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 15:29:58 +0000

Potato juice is a joke? Or _watching_ someone drink potato juice is a joke? I've seen.

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 15:30:59 +0000

Wish I could have said "I've drank", but no.

Posted by tommy on 2006-12-18 15:52:57 +0000

Math jokes: Q: What's round, purple, and commutes? A: An abelian grape. Q: What's the contour integral around western Europe? A: 0. All the Poles are in eastern Europe. (Nazis and Soviets only) Q: What's the contour integral around eastern Europe? A: 0. There are Poles there, but they are all removable.

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 16:02:14 +0000

On a flight from Krakow to Paris the pilots eat the fish entree, and pass out. The attendants discreetly check the passenger list and see that there are two amateur pilots on board. They walk down the aisle and ask the pilots if they would takeover in the cockpit. The amateur pilots agree and head foreward. They take command of the plane and start to flip switches, toggle toggles, press buttons, swivel sticks, and stomp on pedals. Meanwhile, the plane is steadily losing altitude. One of the attendants rushes forward to exclaim to the amatuer pilots, "The other passengers are fearfully we will crash!". To which the first amateur pilot responds, "Sorry, we're just two simple Poles in a complex plane."

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 16:04:31 +0000

A mathematician proves all odd numbers are prime: "1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, therefore all odd numbers are prime." A physicist: "1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a statistical error, 11 is prime, therefore all odd numbers are prime." An engineer: "1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, therefore all odd numbers are prime."

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 16:04:57 +0000

Q: Whaddya call a drummer without a girlfriend? A: Homeless.

Posted by tommy on 2006-12-18 16:10:46 +0000

Q: Didja hear about the drummer who locked his keys in the car? A: It took 2 hours to get the bass player out.

Posted by tommy on 2006-12-18 16:13:34 +0000

Q: Didja hear about the constipated mathematician? A: He worked it out with a pencil.

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 16:15:26 +0000

Q. How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. 6. One to do it and five to stand around and talk about how much better Geddy Lee would have done it.

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 16:19:04 +0000

Q. What's the difference between a guitarist and a large cheese pizza? A. None. Neither can feed a family of four.

Posted by tommy on 2006-12-18 16:26:48 +0000

10D told me this one years ago, and I bet he got it from someone on here... Q: How many Boston scenesters does it take to change a lightbulb? A: You haven't heard???

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 16:40:21 +0000

Q. Did you hear about the Rush tribute band made up entirely of women whose ex-boyfriends listened to Rush? A. OK, me neither.

Posted by bizquig3000 on 2006-12-18 16:56:31 +0000

Whaddya call a lesbian dinosaur? Nigga

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:13:31 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:13:40 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:13:47 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:13:56 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:14:05 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:14:22 +0000

i don't get any of those.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:14:35 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:14:46 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:15:11 +0000

THIS IS THE RESPONSE OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:15:55 +0000

i don't get it. (NO, REALLY, I DON'T GET THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:16:05 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:16:26 +0000

I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:16:49 +0000

i don't get any of these.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:17:02 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:17:13 +0000

i don't get it.

Posted by buzzorhowl on 2006-12-18 18:21:39 +0000

I'm blind.

Posted by theduane on 2006-12-18 18:24:31 +0000

FIRST COMPUTER: 10010010010010110101 10010010010010110101 SECOND COMPUTER: 00110011101010001010110111001010010110101? FIRST COMPUTER: 10011001<00110011001 10010010010010110101>10010010010010110101!

Posted by Rory_Stark on 2006-12-18 22:35:49 +0000

"10D told me this one years ago, and I bet he got it from someone on here... Q: How many Boston scenesters does it take to change a lightbulb? A: You haven't heard???" Dude, I've got that joke on colored vinyl.

Posted by tgl on 2006-12-18 23:39:11 +0000

whatever.

Posted by MF DU on 2006-12-22 16:27:52 +0000

I missed bizquigs's 12/18 post. May I offer to you, sir, this token of holiday cheer:

Posted by bizquig3000 on 2006-12-24 09:17:14 +0000

Approved!